Hi everyone,
What an amazing response to yesterday’s “Parents’ choice” post. Obviously a lot of people are passionate about this topic, as I am. First, I want to acknowledge and thank you all for being awesome women. You were so honest and willing to share. Having so many people open up about their own stories and experiences is important, eye-opening, and informative for all of us. It reminds us all that there are warm faces and loving hearts behind what we see at the grocery store or at the ice cream shop. As I said in my original post, I'm not judging, and it seems like all of you made the same effort. For that, I applaud you and thank you.
Also, I can't tell you how wonderful it made me feel to read your responses to each other, offering advice and empathy, and reaching out to support each other. High fives all around. Again, you all have my eternal gratitude for caring so much about each other.
Now, on to the topic at hand. People made so many interesting points, and there are a few things I'd like to address. Diane's story says so much. I have heard about this nutrition plan for children with Autism and ADHD and read about extremely positive results. It's amazing to read about parents who are finding success despite extremely difficult circumstances, and making such pro-active (often difficult) choices for their children. I'm sure sticking to such a strict meal plan can't be easy or inexpensive. But when it's crucial to your quality of life, as it so often is in these cases, you make it work. That’s truly inspirational.
To Terri's point, metabolism absolutely plays a big part in weight. Some people are just gifted with genetics that allow them to indulge without gaining weight. While I am nowhere close to being a doctor, I can tell you that I've seen first hand that in some ways, appearing overweight is just the most obvious symptom of bigger health issues. I know slender looking people who ended up in the emergency room undergoing quadruple by-pass surgery due to clogged arteries from unhealthy eating. Obesity is the easiest aspect to diagnose; you identify it whether you mean to or not. But there are so many extremely unhealthy things that can be happening beneath the surface that you may never even know about until it's too late.
Joly, you brought up several important points also. Yes, there are circumstances beyond our control as parents. I cannot imagine what that must have been like for you, having your child diagnosed with something so foreign you don't even begin to know how to handle it. From what you wrote, it seems like at 11 he's no longer battling the original diagnosis, but obviously, he’s still physically and emotionally dealing with the repercussions. As are you. And how does someone even begin to offer advice to someone in your unique circumstances? I don’t know. But the statistics of your circumstances are in the minority. Most of this country is facing obesity for extremely basic reasons.
On another point, I couldn't agree with you more, Joly. Staring is rude, and it is certainly no one’s place to judge others “until you've walked a mile in their shoes” and maybe not even then. However, I will say, it is more than just about differences. My concern, sitting in my local coffee shop, was for that child's welfare. And I'm sorry, I will not back down from the fact that under no circumstances should an obese child have a chocolaty whipped cream coffee drink. And the caffeine is frankly the least of my concerns. Of course I didn't stare, mostly because I would NEVER want that little girl to feel bad about herself. But if she doesn't already, she will. I know how mean kids are. It was bad enough when I was in school, and now? Do you watch Oprah?? They're horrible to each other. It's terrifying under the best of circumstances. And it is, without question (in my opinion) parents’ responsibility to give their children every possible advantage. But, I will emphasize again, this obviously exempts parents who have major medical battles that most of us will hopefully never have to deal with.
I will end this overly long post by acknowledging Chrissy. I honor her honesty and appreciate her putting herself out there, opening up to everyone else, and sharing her story. But the most important part about what she wrote is the last two weeks. She is on the right path NOW, and that is more important that anything else. Now, today, here, she is being a good role model and that is how you should see yourself, Chrissy. Congratulate yourself on what you're doing now to be a good mom.
Not to be totally corny, but the opening lyrics to The Biggest Loser theme song is "What have you done TODAY to make you feel proud?" Do something good today, and tomorrow you'll feel good about what you did yesterday and want to do it again, and so on and so on. That's how I keep myself going. I love how this conversation is going. I would love to keep it up, so share more stories if you have them! And let us know if you have other ideas for ways to help keep our kids healthy, and not judge others in our community for what we don't understand.
Thank you all again, and I hope you have a happy, healthy weekend.
xo
Ali
Wow Ali, kudos to you for reading all the responses and commenting. You truly are an inspiration. I absolutely enjoying watching you on Days doing what you do best, watching you on Biggest Loser inspiring those amazing people, and reading your blog each day. Keep it up! You are an amazing Women, Mother and Role Model!
Leaann
Ali - I don't even have kids yet so I don't know what kind of parent I will be, but this is one of the things that worries me the most. I grew up as a "fat kid" and do NOT want my children to go through what I went through. I admire your passion on this subject and I'm glad other people notice things like the kid at the coffee shop.
To Kim - I lost almost 60lbs in college by joining weight watchers. I know that program is not for everyone, but it really worked for me in the beginning. I would encourage you to check it out, even if you just do it online. The biggest thing is to be honest with yourself about what you are eating and not cheat.
I read your post yesterday Ali, and I understand how you feel. Truth is that I am the mother that makes sure my daughter eats a well balanced diet and avoids too much junk food, yet I cant seem to always do that for myself. I didnt have a weight problem until my 20's so I dont know how it was to be an overweight child. But I remember the overweight girl in school and the kids teased her mercilessly. It was awful. Other than the obvious health reasons, keeping my daughter healthy and active will prevent her from being that kid. I know someone who has an extremely overweight child and will complain about it and let the kid eat anything and everything he wants. I have to bite my tongue every time. In my house my daughter knows she can have one 'treat' per day. a little ice cream, cookie whatever. that seems to work for us. I need to work on sticking to that rule more myself. im sure all moms reading this can empathize. but ive recently joined a gym and am getting back on track and trying to re-train my brain from rewarding with food to rewarding myself with other things. what can I say, im italian! we love food! too much.....
Kim...
You are starting out great!! Find one thing every week that you can change about your activity and eating habits. Like, no cokes just water, or no fast food, and adding another exercise routine. I know how hard it is TRUST ME. Im 32 with three kids and I try to work out three times a day. So while you can take advantage of it change everything thing know. I wish you the best of luck and also if you catch yourself "missing" something to eat. Talk about it with someone who understands it helps to let the craving past (thats my best tip).
Hey Ali, Fabulous site. I can see why you were so excited to launch it. Love all your blogs. I know how interested and concerned you are about BULLYING, we all faced some sort of bullying in our lives. Wanted to let you know that Family Circle's October issue has an interesting article on it. Thought you might want to check it out.
Have a wonderful weekend!
XO
Nancy
Congrats Ali, the site just hit over 1,000 registered users.
I appreciate that you took the time to read all the comments and responses! I hope you continue to share your thoughts and opinions...it was a great discussion when it wasn't getting nasty, which unfortunately some of it did. Thanks again!
who here is a fan of Days of Our Lives? This is a fun forum thread to read and respond:
http://www.alisonsweeney.com/forum/thread/when-did-you-start-watching
Hi Everyone,
Okay, I have to vent here.
I promise I am just venting, not judging, because obviously I only know what I am looking at right now, and don’t necessarily know the whole story.
Anyway, I am sitting at my favorite coffee shop and there is a sweet, adorable girl at the next table with her dad. She can’t be more than eight years old, and she is at least 30 pounds overweight. At her height, that is a lot. Her dad is overweight, also. But what I want to vent about is that they both have huge, frothy, milky, chocolaty frozen drinks with extra whipped cream in their hands. Those things are loaded, loaded, loaded with calories, sugar, and fat—with no worthwhile nutritional qualities.
I get that we all need treats occasionally, but those are just the worst for you—and it concerns me that a parent would let a child (one for whom obesity is apparently a real risk) order something like that, and set the example of drinking one in front of her. All she knows is that she wants something sweet—she is not old enough to understand the consequences, and I’m worried that no one is teaching her about healthy eating.
Healthy eating during childhood is one of parents’ most important responsibilities. And yes, I believe it is completely the grown-up’s job to make the right choice in these situations! I know that denying your children things they want can be a challenge, but that’s our job! We have to set limits!
I saw this happening with a stranger, and I didn’t say anything because I don’t know the whole story. But have you seen this happening closer to home? Does your sister always feed her kids fast food (and yours, when she’s with them, even though you’ve asked her not to)? Does your best friend complain about her child being overweight, but not realize she’s part of the problem?
Tell me about things you’ve noticed, and whether or not you’ve stepped in.
xo
Ali
Between promoting my shows and being featured in magazine stories, I end up doing a lot of photo shoots. Getting ready for them is fun because professional hair and makeup artists are on hand to help me look my best. Sometimes I’m supposed to look glamorous, sometimes casual. But always, without question, I look a whole lot better than I did when I woke up that morning. And I almost always pick up a few tips that I can use every day to look my best, too. Here are some of my big takeaways from a recent photo shoot for Parents magazine.
1. Get enough sleep! I talk about this a lot in my book, and believe me, if I didn’t get enough sleep the night before a photo shoot, I hear about it from my makeup artist. Pictured here is Deidre, whom I work with at Days now (she works with us at The Biggest Loser a lot, too). If I’m sleep deprived, she always says, “I’m a make-up artist, not a miracle worker,” (riffing on the “I’m a doctor, not a physicist” line from Star Trek.) Getting enough sleep helps your skin and eyes and pretty much everything else look better.
2. If you have straight hair, give it some volume. Whether you’re blowing it out straight or with some waves or wearing it up, straight hair tends to look better in photos when it has some volume. In this picture Matthew is blow-drying my hair, and as you can see he starts by breaking it into sections and blowing each section out with a big round brush to give it volume and shine.
3. When you’re with your kids, your wardrobe still matters if you want to look good! It’s so easy as a mom to forget about your own needs and concentrate on your kids. I do that even at photo shoots if my kids are going to be there! For the Parents shoot, Ben and Megan were in the photos, and as you can see in this picture I was way more concerned with helping Megan get dressed than getting myself ready. When I do a photo shoot with my children, I couldn’t care less how I look. I’m much more worried about them being in a good mood, being well behaved, being comfortable, being clean, and so on. But guess what? I’m still going to be in the photo (and in everyday life, I still want to feel like I look good!) so it’s okay to spend a few minutes thinking about what YOU are going to wear!
4. Keep the shine in control. I’m not really someone who sweats very much (except when I’m working out, of course) and yet on this shoot I totally started to “shine,” as Deidre calls it, only 10 minutes into the shoot, because I was running around trying to wrangle my kids. This definitely happens in real life, too, to every mom I know! If someone is going to be snapping your photo, try anti-shine powder or gel or keep blotting sheets in your purse—you can eliminate shine without messing up your makeup!
5. This isn’t exactly about looking good—well, sort of—but wet wipes really are a mom’s best friend. At the photo shoot I had to get some crumbs off Megan from her snack before we started taking pictures! Glad I caught that. And for every day, you never know when you’re going to have to clean up a spill, on your kids or on you. So be prepared!
What are your best tips for looking good every day—even when you’ve got other things (read: your kids!) on your mind?
xo
Ali
Hey Everyone!
Here's a transcript of today's fun Tweet Chat! Thank you to everyone who tweeted - I had a blast chatting with all of you! In fact, we're gonna do it again September 30th and we'll be tweeting about The Tower, The Zoo & The Tortoise by Julia Stuart.
xo
Ali
Ali Sweeney: hey everyone! ready to chat Girl with the Dragon Tattoo? use hashtag #GirlWith to get in the conversation!! What'd you think?
@freckles_405 no, it's my twitter-bookclub! we all read it and are talking about it now! #Girlwith
@Amanda_Ratliff yes, I felt the exact same way. it went from 0 to 60 for me around 20% in! why is that?? #Girlwith
@steeners41 @TaraCain @bandnpr678 every1 says that & ITA, why so hard to get through? could he have made the first part more interesting?
@AshleySandberg Yeah, i totally downloaded the next two immediately. did you guess the who-dun-it? #GirlWith
@TMoore8114 yes! it took me forever to get the names straight. I still have never tried to pronounce them aloud. lol. #GirlWith
Ali Sweeney: excellent question! anyone read the other two? RT @jenn269 Are all the books just as hard to get into?#GirlWith
@jdarronk I knew I liked Salander right from the start! #GirlWith ... can't believe what she went thru - the whole State guardian! crazy!
@jenn269 @AshleySandberg @vaccarol yes, shocked by the magnitude of the crime. the violence against female stats were alarming #girlwith
@RedAngelus I was on an airplane when I read 'tattoo' scene.had 2 put it down, I so desperately needed to discuss w/ someone! #girlwith
@dancinghols did anyone HATE Salander?? I thought she was clearly our heroine? #GirlWith
@VT2SC I was so amazed at how clever she was covering her tracks at the end. But I really thought she was going to disappear after #girlwith
@Amanda_Ratliff yes - that Blomkbist/Berger/her hubby triangle was SO strange. why do u suppose he included that dynamic? #Girlwith
@Brandie185 yes! & there's controversy over 4th book, that girlfriend has manuscript for or something? #GirlWith
@Amanda_Ratliff yes, I guessed at Salander's autism right off. #GirlWith
@s_exum But I think he included it as a story beat to really show up Blomkbist's inability to commit to anything.. right? #GirlWith
@pattybgud I agree.. definitely both men & women would find it compelling. #girlwith
Ali Sweeney: Let's talk about the 'cold case' Blomkbist solved. Grandfather's obsession with it etc... #GirlWith
@RedAngelus totally - I kinda didn't want it 2 happen because she trusted him.&please, he 'resisted'?he got so much action in #GirlWith
@AshleySandberg or were you just really hungry while reading it?? #GirlWith
@Wampumqueen yes, without really calling attention to it, the reader gets a real look at the Swedish culture #GirlWith
Ali Sweeney: Whole Vangar family was SO messed up. couldn't trust any of them. What was Lesser's point to making them all so disturbed? #GirlWith
@TaraCain yes, I totally thought he had a guilty conscious riding him to find Harriet. Maybe in the end - he shouldve known? #GirlWith
@Brandie185 really? #GirlWith
@Amanda_Ratliff @dancinghols I don't think he thought she was alive. He felt those prints were taunting him, right? #GirlWith
Ali Sweeney: what about H inheriting the business at the end? seemed a little too pat for me. #GirlWith
@Raleigh76 yes, I loved that line too. good point. but he really emphasized how young she was, the era, etc... #GirlWith
@lostbraincell but brave enough to just get out. make a new life away from it all... smart enough to not get caught... #GirlWith
@Brandie185 I felt it was a bit trite. I mean, Vangar doesn't know the woman she's become...can't just ask her to run his biz! #Girlwith
@DonnaM212 agreed. #GirlWith
@bandnpr678 but I agree w @DonnaM212 that a main theme in #GirlWith was that $$ & power corrupt, so ... why give her both, all at once!
@jenn269 yes - how could she think it was okay to send him those flowers? it was torture. #GirlWith
@Amanda_Ratliff @CharmedChica she didn't want 2b found,so why go 2 trouble? he might've moved on, let it go, if not 4 the flowers #GirlWith
@RedAngelus is she immune to it's corruption because of her Aspergers?
@bonteach @Amanda_Ratliff it was so fascinating, the way he broke down & chased down those photos.I read that part so fast! #GirlWith
@jenn269 yes, that's true too... the cousin, right? couldve mentioned over all those years how upsetting they were to him. #GirlWith
Ali Sweeney: you all are OBSESSED with the coffee in #GirlWith! I didn't even notice. I did feel COLD just reading it though.
@designsbyjessie i heard the Swedish movie leaves out the whole Blomkist/Berger relationship? #Girlwith
@designsbyjessie oh, right!!another crazy side-story. the crazy Nazi-Vangar. Why did he lay so much groundwork into family history #Girlwith
@designsbyjessie @SusieTVaddict yes, but Blomqvist's sexual exploits do say a lot about him... right?! v r important to character #Girlwith
@RedAngelus really? here in US? #GirlWith #justcurious
@Amanda_Ratliff TOTALLY. #girlwith
Ali Sweeney: what about Blomqvist's feeling he was betraying his beliefs by not telling the story. thoughts? journalists out there weigh in! #girlwith
Ali Sweeney: I mean, of anything in the book, including his own daughter, he seemed most passionate about that! #GirlWith
@s_exum hmmm. good point. #GirlWith
@pattybgud thanks for joining us!
@ckawez makes sense, I just felt it was 'principle' or 'reputation' for Blom not a genuine concern for families. maybe I'm wrong #GirlWith
Hi Friends,
Hope everyone had a great weekend!
Last night I made a fabulous (if I do say so myself) home-grown dinner. Green beans, avocado, tomatoes with a little olive oil and feta cheese. I was cracking up at myself, though, because with all of our organic, home-produced ingredients, I was having visions of starting a dairy farm and planting an olive tree so I would never have to go to the market again! (Muuuahahahaha…that’s my “taking over the world” laugh.)
In most parts of the country we have the ability to plant and grow some produce, or at least herbs. If you don’t do it already, I would love to encourage you to try. Believe me, I don’t have a green thumb at all. And Dave is pretty frustrated by our lettuce situation. (Rabbits have eaten our lettuce for the THIRD time! Grrrr. We did everything right—chicken wire, etc.—and yet those wascaly wabbits have won again. I would love advice on this, BTW!) But it’s still ALL worth it! And not just because of the delicious, healthy veggies just outside our doorstep...the
impact it has on our kids has been amazing too.
Ben is usually a good eater. And he eats most vegetables, though usually that’s only because I insist, not because he actually enjoys them. But in the case of anything home grown? He’s on board! Because he was part of the whole process.
He feels such a sense of pride and responsibility for what we’ve grown that he’s really excited to help cook and eat the “fruits of our labor”. ;)
If you want to try a little grow-your-own, you can start small, as we did, with just a strawberry pot or an herb garden, and grow from there. We had a tomato plant, lettuce, a strawberry pot, and a jalapeno plant in a pot on our deck and herbs our first year. Ben was only two, but I remember him helping pick the tomatoes...he would immediately go to put them in his mouth and eat them like apples. He loved those tomatoes right from the beginning!!! It was such a fantastic way to get him into it.
Have you had a similar experience with your kids? What have you done to teach your kids about where fruits and veggies come from, and how do you get them excited about trying new kinds?
Let me know!
xo
Ali
Hey Everyone!
I hosted my first book tweet-versation July 31. We tweeted about House Rules by Jodi Picoult. We had a great turnout of people who'd read the book, and we discussed the story, themes, and what an amazing and consistent author Jodi Picoult is. I've read every book she's written; my favorite is still The Pact. I literally couldn't put it down on a flight from NYC to LA. I didn't eat, didn't use the restroom, and finished it as we were landing, crying my eyes out. I've been hooked every since.
It was such a blast to connect with my followers on Twitter about something we all have in common. It was great to debate the elements we liked and disliked, and hear everyone's opinions about the story, the characters, and the way such a serious topic as Autism was handled. Many parents of children with Autism joined the discussion to weigh in on the realism of the situation, which meant so much to all of us in the conversation.
It was so much fun that we're definitely doing it again at the end of August! If you haven't already, read The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and let's tweet about it on Tuesday Aug 31st. I'll announce a time as the day gets closer, because I have to get my shooting schedule from production (they don't plan that far in advance!).
Tweet with you soon, and happy reading. Have a great weekend, everyone!
xo
Ali
Hey Everyone,
Two hair posts in a row! But I had to tell you about how the team at Days did my hair for Sami's non-wedding to EJ this week - I really loved it.
We are always trying to come up with pretty new looks…and after 11-plus wedding styles, that can be a challenge! This time, we went for an updated Grace Kelly-esque style. It held well for the many, many hours that were required (day after day) to shoot all those emotional scenes. (Which means it would work well for a real wedding or other big event, too.) It's always fun to read positive feedback, like this tweet from @gracehappens407:
@Ali_Sweeney I have to know about the head piece you wore for the current wedding. I love it & want to know where to get one.
Thanks! I got so many compliments on the look, and everyone in Days Emmy Award-winning hair department was very proud of their work! Here are basic steps they used to create the style:
1. Apply an egg size amount of volumizing mousse to clean, wet hair.
2. Flip your head upside-down and blow your hair completely dry.
3. Using a large-barreled curling iron, curl all sections of your hair, big chunks at a time. (You're not trying to curl the root, just the ends...you want “movement” in your hair.)
4. Pull your hair back into a simple, high ponytail. Secure the ponytail with an elastic the same color as your hair.
5. Take big sections of your hair and pin them in shapes of loose curls around the elastic, hiding it while creating your up-do. Secure the curls with bobby pins. (They make blonde bobby pins for us light-haired ladies...you can get them anywhere, even at Target!)
6. The amazing thing about the hair ornament that we used for this look is that it isn’t a hair ornament—it actually came from a craft store. My Days hairdresser had been holding on to it (a long stretch of this beaded netting kind of thing), waiting for just the right moment! Basically, it's about 6 inches wide and 2 feet long, and she wrapped it around my head, pinning it in place with hairpins as she went. It was great because, unlike a headband, it didn't pinch in an uncomfortable way.
Whether you try this particular style or not, I think the two big tips to take away from it are 1) use bobby pins that match your hair color and 2) you can turn anything into a hair accessory! Simply pinning it into place often works, but if a pretty piece of jewelry or something catches your eye, you can also attach it to a pop-clip with crazy glue to make it easy to stay in place.
What are your favorite tips for creating special occasion hairstyles?
xo
Ali
Hi Everyone!
Here are a few little tips for dealing with color treated (shhhh, it’s our little secret) hair in the summertime.
Especially in the summer, it’s so important to take care of your hair and to keep it healthy when the sun and chlorine can really add to the damage inherent in doing any sort of color treatment.
After my first day in the pool this summer, I showed up at the salon with a serious green tint to my hair. I did NOT expect that. One thing I now do to help avoid the green is soak my hair with regular tap water before diving in. If the hair shaft is soaked with non-chlorinated water first, it won’t take in the chlorine, so you can avoid the green. However, that doesn’t prevent damage completely. So my awesome hair dresser suggested I try treating my hair with Moroccan oil, once a week, during the summer. When I know I’m going to be outside, or even when I’m headed to the gym, I put a handful of the oil in my hand, and slowly coat my hair with it. Your hair should be dry when you do this.
Then you leave it for an hour. I just put it up, and then I’m good to hang with the kids, or even go to the gym, and then rinse it off in the shower.
If you can’t find Moroccan oil, a great alternative is Jojoba Oil, which you can find for $15 or less (check Amazon.com). By the way, Jojoba oil can be used to moisturize your scalp, too, and it’s a great skin exfoliant when mixed with sugar!
xo
Ali
Hey Everyone,
An injury can get in the way of your efforts to stay in shape—but it does not have to keep you from being active! There’s information about this in my book because I’ve seen so many contestants on The Biggest Loser get injured, and now it has happened to me. Ugh. I love the workout I get from running—it’s so quick and efficient and such a good way to blow off steam—but I just hurt my knee, so Dr. H from TBL told me I have to stop running downhill for a long time, and for now I also have to stop jogging, period, until the acute injury heals.
Bummer, yes, but I want to tell you that one injury isn’t an excuse to stop working out completely. My knee may not be able to handle running right now, but there are a lot of other things I can do. If you have an injury to one part of your body, talk to your doctor about all the other things you can and should do. Think of this as a great time to experiment with a new kind of workout! I switched from lots of running to spin class as my main form of cardio, and I’ve been working hard on strength training my upper body.
Have you had an injury that kept you from your favorite workout? What did you try instead? I’d love to hear your creative ideas for staying active (in a healthy way, of course) as you recover from an injury.
xo
Ali
