I was just called my friend as I was leaving the store the other day how I wanted to smack obese parents (and there are a lot where I live) and her child walking into the store.  The child was obese!  Ugh!!  I know I'm not the perfect roll model, but I do work very hard to encourage healthy decisions and snacks for my boys.  I've switched back to a clean eating life style and am slowly working them that way as well.  I make sure they get outside and play as much as possible because running, jumping and swinging are so good for them!  I just don't understand how you feel good like that.  I know there are people with circumstances, but if your child is that over weight, it's not your circumstances, it's your lifestyle!  Vent all you want about that with me, I hate seeing it and worry about my own kids ever being that way!

Sadly its all to familiar where we live.  I help out at the schoool sometimes and watch what the kids eat.  Glad to know i'm not the only one seeing this.  My kids get treats but in moderation.  It all starts with the parents and what they have available for their kids to eat.  We always have fruit and veggies cut up in the fridge.  Easy access.  Soda is another thing I see kids drink too much of.  Ok great now you got me going. LOL

My mom thinks it's her right as a grandma to feed my kids whatever they want when they stay with her.  I might be able to overlook that if it was a situation in which they only saw her once or twice a year.  That isn't the case.  We live within an hour's drive, so they visit her quite often.  She thinks if they ask for ice-cream, they should get it, regardless of how many times a day or what time of day it is. (She's even given them ice-cream BEFORE church on Sunday morning! YIKES!) She believes Little Debbie's should be a regular breakfast staple. I've watched her own eating habits go from bad to worse over the last 10 years or so, and she sees nothing wrong with letting my kids have whatever they want, too.  I love my mother dearly, but it does make me think twice about letting them stay with her for any length of time. 

You hit the nail on the head that the dad was showing her bad choices by example.  He either does not know or does not care about the consequences.  You could have said something - but he probably isn't ready or willing to hear it right now.

The best you can do is lead by example - which you definitely are with BL.  That goes for family, too.  I've found that preaching doesn't work.  But offering healthy choices at my house has opened a few eyes.  Lead by example.

This totally happens with my brother and my niece. I have 2 nieces, I live with one and I have taught her about food and she is now four years old and usually chooses the health options because I have taught her about them and exposed her to them. My brother on the other hand lets his daughter (age 3) eat anything and everything she wants, and chocolate or strawberry milk all the time (that's my soapbox). So it is super frustrating, but I guess it's just up to me to try to expose her to better options and teach her about healthier foods. I step in when I'm around but I'm not enough to make a big difference. I totally understand that frustration and I would love to see the calorie count on menus here in CO, but that isn't happening anytime soon. 

I also have an over weight friend and she still chooses venti tripe shot, extra carmel frappacinos after lengthy discussions of her wanting to lose weight and eat healthier. So SO frustrating especially when everyone else is trying to set a good example for her. I just don't know how to help anymore. I try to talk with her weekly about her exercise and food and it seems that nothing is helping. 

THanks for allowing this kind of discussion, it's really important. 

Ali, Thanks for sharing! When  workea at Starbucks this dad would get his own Caramel Macchiato and order his 4 year ols daughter a short Caramel Macchiato with extra vanilla and 3 packets of sugar added. Yuck! Ya, I agree with you. I don't get why poeple do this to themselves or their kids. I have a 2 year old daughter and I want to be a good example. I am actually starting a 30 day cleanse in a couple of days. Check it out! www.deutinger.isagenix.com

i work in a grocery store and i watch how the parent buy all the junk food and soda for the family. they sometime say that it is all gone in 2 days. parents do not see what they are doing to themself and to their kids.

my kids do not get the junk food and soda at my house. the only time is on a specail night or we are out to dinner and we order no refills at all. if you finish your drink then it is water.

Some people do not want to change, so they keep doing it the way they always have. I was 18 when my son born (1977) and i really didn't understand that all the junk was so bad for us because we never had a weight problem. I know now that to be healthy i must eat healthy. I am sure there are many people in your age group with small childern that was not taught good eating habits and now will not change those bad habits. My grandchildern are 31/2 and 7 and I am thankful that thier Dad and Mom are teaching them the importantance o healthy eating. 

for us, this is everytime our children go to their grammas house.  it does not matter how many times we ask her not to indulge them in sweets, that is all that they eat.  it doesnt help that his very overweight sister lives there also with her overweight 7 yr old son, and they just add to it.  we know when our kids go they will be spending their time eating popsicles, ice cream, drinking soda and eating all junk food.  we have had to limit the time that they are there, and we cannot allow our older daughter to go on days before she has a softball game because the heat will make her sick after eating junk all day the day before.

we are not perfect, and we are no the most fit, however we are not overwight and we do our very best to not only have the kids get out and stay active, but for us to do the same.  we try to teach our children healthy eating habits, fast food, junk food and soda are very limited with them, and we cook with allot of healthier foods such as grilled chicken and veggies.  they are all involved in sports, which we also push to them and feel is very important, both for physical fitness and learning to work with others and being a part of a team.  their social strengths will help them as much as they physical strengths when they are older....we find that it is very important to keep them invovled, and they love playing  in their games.

i agree....children should be taught by example, and if they are already on the path to being overweight it is up to the parent to teach them how to work towards another path.  sadly if the parent him/herself is also overweight, they must not see this as a problem, and therefore do not see a reason to set that example to their children.

Yes we see this very close to home. I have a friend that had a daughter and while her mother had custody she would feed her (and no lie we used to own the conveince store she shopped at) a regular size bag of potatoe chips 1-2 King size candy bars, and sometimes buy her a regular pack of cookies to go along with it, and then to top it off a 20oz regular bottle of soda, because 'that's what she wanted'. The child was 4 she had to have both knees broken and replaced by the time she was 7 or 8. Since then the child has went on to be with Jesus, not because of her weight, but she was killed in a car wreck. It would bother me so bad because of how big she was and I knew the baby didn't understand. At age 4 she probably was wearing misses sizes. When my friend got custody back he worked with her and made running and dieting as fun as he could and she did loose weight then.  She was adorable and had the biggest heart. She has a little brother who is 5 still in diapers and has already had to have back surgery. He is huge! I'm talking he is probably wearing mens size clothes he is so big. It breaks my heart. I am obese and I have NEVER and would NEVER think of feeding a child anything like that. I have nieces and nephews and we all make sure they get their veggies and fruits and NO soda what so ever because we don't want them to be obese too. We are all working on ourselves as well so it isn't just a thing of do as I say not as I do.

I am a mother of boys, 18, 14, and 11.  I am also an RN of 10 years.  I have been obese all my life but have finely learned how to eat right and feed my children healthy also.  I am happy to report that at my heaviest I was 230 and I am now at 125 and 5'2".  I have found from experience that unless you have parents that eat very healthy or you are in a profession where you learn about proper nutrition, most people don't know how to eat properly based on the calories that they need to use for energy that day.  Just because they teach the food groups and how much to eat daily in those food groups from elementary school upwards, does not mean that from basic information the public can make a meal plan that takes into consideration the amount of excercise or non exercise they do on a daily basis.  Eating healthy is a lifestyle and hard to change once you have done it wrong for many, many years.  I believe that we need to have more education on how to eat properly from a very young age.  Also, with today's fast paced world and fast food joints, we have created an obese society.  We need to get rid of so many fast food places and open more farmer's markets with fresh food and vegetables with with low fat high protein choices.

Hi Ali,

I'm an adult, & I do this to myself.  I eat more junk food than I do anything nutritious.  My son is 21, & I did my best to feed him right when he was growing up, but we probably did eat fast food more often than we should have.  He eats out a lot now, & is overweight.  I am obese.  I really hate that word.  I have no energy & am achy each day.  Even knowing that I should eat right, I don't feel like cooking.  I work where I have to stand for 6 to 7 hours each day & when I get home I just want to sit.  I'm very self consious & ashamed of how I look.  I don't want people to think anything bad about me.  I'm a good person, but I have poor eating habits.  I don't know what to do.  I've wanted to order Nutrisystem, but my hubby says no, that I need to learn to eat right with regular food.  I am a lifetime member of Weight Watchers.  I lost 50 pounds 18 years ago, but gained back 3 times as much.  I've taken antidepressants for about 18 years also.  I guess it's just really difficult for some people to make good choices.  I don't know. . .

I'm concerned when I see ANY kids eating poorly, not just the obese ones. Some people luck out genetically and manage to eat whatever they want without gaining extra weight, but that doesn't mean that they aren't suffering from high cholesterol and/or high blood pressure.  ALL children and all parents need to be taught the importance of a proper diet.  Singling out only the obese isn't going to solve the problem.

I have to agree!  It's the parents that buy and cook the food for the kids.  They just eat what the parents give them from the start!  My kids eat very healthy, I banned the bad for them food, they do get some on occasion, but very rarely.  Soda yeah don't even get me started on that subject.  I see so many parents buying their children cans/bottles of soda when they could buy them a bottle of water !!!  It's sad that all this "unsafe" food is around for parents to buy for their children, the children do not know the difference in all they put in their bodies.  Then the parents all wonder why their child is OBESE !!  It breaks my heart to see parents doing damage to their children, then say stuff like my child is not over weight .... YES THEY ARE !!!!!!!!!!!!  Ok, I threw in my comment, hopefully this world can make changes, parents for their children.. Have a great day!

Hi Ali. I have a friend who happens to be 82 lbs.. her entire life she has never been over 90 even when pregnant! Her husband is well over 500lbs. She constantly buys him sweets, soda and anything else he wants. They have an 8 yr old daughter who is NOT overweight, however she is witnessing this behaviour and getting the message that it is okay to eat any way you wish.

Also, to me it is a really sensitive topic because my 14 year old daughter has high-functioning autism. We control it with a VERY STRICT gluten free casein free.. and VERY sugar limited diet. She has been on this lifestyle since the age of 4. It works remarkably well and has honestly changed her life in more ways then I can express in one comment. ANyway,  she has never been overweight. She has learned to read the labels of EVERYTHING before she even considers putting it in her mouth. She knows that high fructose corn syrup is POISON, as is hydrogenated oils, sugar, glucose AND any type of artificial sweetener short of Xylitol or Stevia.

My husband and I have created some wonderful HEALTHY treats that she can eat, and my 20 year old neuro-typical son who can eat anything without reaction insists that things such as her gluten and casein free "cheesecake" sweetened with Xylitol and fresh blueberries tastes better than anything he has ever had at a restaurant or anywhere else for that matter.

Jennifer.. my daughter is the healthiest child I have ever known and I am certain it is as a result of what she puts into her body. She rarely gets sick. My point.. is that if parents would teach their children from the very beginning what is healthy and what is not.. and find creative "treats" that will not adversely affect their health .. also teach them to always Read The Label... the problem of obesity would decrease, and naturally the poor health in the United States as well.